she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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