how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
