Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
