How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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