you would pick up someone in the library
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just found puke in my bra..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize