So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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