Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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