Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize