She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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