i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
