The maid of honor just puked.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
