my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
