I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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