one two three fourrrrnication!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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