You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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