I accidentally burped into my bong.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
