yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
