Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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