the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
