she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
