My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
