summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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