Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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