im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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