He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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