Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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