A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
