im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
