i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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