If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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