My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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