first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she smelled like a LAN party
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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