Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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