We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
