Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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