Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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