Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
