my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
