you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
