That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
