I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So vagazzling was a success
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