did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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