he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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