That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
