I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
