They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
