grandma shit on top of the toilet
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
