Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize