Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
