he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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