so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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