Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
