so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
