If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
