Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
