Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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