Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
