Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
