I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
