Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
