Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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