And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
