Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
