Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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