Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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