I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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