I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize