If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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