All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
