I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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