Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
