I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize