Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i was born a porn star she said
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
