So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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